When my brother first found me and brought me home to Dathomir, my mind was.....damaged.
[He doesn't like to mention that period of time when he'd gone completely insane to anyone and few know about it. Not even many of his close friends are aware of what had happened during all those years of madness on Lotho Minor. But he has to explain to Willow in this case in order to make his point clear.]
My mother had the ability to heal the mind of madness. She simply reached inside and pulled out it out in a literal fashion, as though it was nothing more than a physical object that needed to be removed. It restored my mind. Several months ago, I discovered I have a similar ability here. It doesn't heal the mind of madness but instead I can remove corruption in the same way, just by reaching into a person's head and pulling it out.
That's, um... quite the power. There's probably a lot of people here that could really benefit from that.
[Trusting Maul to pull something out of her mind, or the mind of someone else she cares about is nowhere near a step she is even remotely prepared to make, though. Even if she was desperate.]
I don't know how to wield it very well yet. I've only tried to do it twice and one of those times was unsuccessful.
[But he knows he's not going to get any better at it if he doesn't get some practice on other people.]
Besides, I'm sure there has to be another Sleeper who has similar magic.
[Though the longer he thinks about it, Maul realizes he hasn't heard of anyone else able to do this, not from any other Sleeper mentioning it or even through just the usual lines of gossip.]
I haven't run into anyone who has that particular ability. I mean, I don't know everyone, but it could be unique. You'd probably have to check the Archives to see if anyone has been able to do that historically.
[She lets that sink in. Actually, if someone has had the same power in the past, the Archives might be key in teaching him how to use it.]
If you're serious about wanting to start helping others, I'd say that's a pretty good way to start.
Well, when I tried to remove Varian's, it was so deep-set into his mind I sensed trying to take it out would do more harm than good, that it might have caused irreparable harm to the landscape of his mind. [He sighs.] Perhaps I should have tried harder...
[He couldn't have known Varian would be so corrupted as to descend into beasthood but Maul feels like he could have done something more. Maybe if he gets more experience with this he will be able to eventually.]
Very well. I will ask my followers as well. They might know something.
[Oh yes, that's right, Maul has a cult. Fun times!
He pauses and an awkward silence descends before.]
I have incurred a debt by what I did. I don't know how I shall ever pay it back but....if you have need of my assistance, simply ask. I am not good for much besides death and destruction, but sometimes such a person is needed even if most do not want them around.
Oh. If, uh, your instincts are telling you you would do more harm than good by doing something, you're doing the right thing by stopping.
[Especially since Maul's instincts so rarely ever seem to tell him to stop. Or maybe they do, and he just doesn't listen out of... what? Stubbornness? Probably stubbornness.
The news of his cult is also unwelcome.]
Followers? You have followers? How long has this been a thing for?
[Does she even want to know? She suspects probably not, but then again, if it's been going on for awhile, at least he hasn't sent them after any of them as far as she's aware.
At his last thought, she pauses. She doesn't really want him owing her anything, but she'll keep the offer for help in the back of her head. There are no doubt still people in Trench who will stand with him - there always have been, what's one more incident? Surely they all knew this was coming, and she doubts all of his support will cut themselves off from him. It's not like any of them have any loyalty to her, and she's well aware many of them probably don't agree with the choice to curse him as a means of stopping his destructive behaviour.
She has to remind herself it is not her responsibility to offer comfort to her killer.]
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. I know you're looking to change, and it's up to you to decide what it is you're good for now, if you really mean to follow through on it.
I don't toy with people's minds easily or lightly. It is far easier to break someone down physically than mentally.
[Given Maul's experience with his master, he knew the horror that could come with changing someone's mind forcibly, whether through psychic actions or just plain old brainwashing. His mental powers through the Force weren't something he used in a cavalier fashion.
He does grin at the mention of his cult. He's very proud of those that have chosen to follow him.]
Since I arrived. I was first suspicious of them given the way the Deerington townsfolk acted the first month I came to the town, first being kind and sweet before they drugged me, sewed me to a deer, and tried to burn me alive. I thought the natives here would be the same but after months of their persistence, I saw their desire to have me as their leader and guide them was sincere.
[Disconcerting as the thought of Maul having followers was, he certainly has been taking his duties as their leader seriously. He's not going to use them frivolously or for personal vendettas. The power he gained here is something that he's been seeking for some time and he's not going to throw it away in just a few months.
Maul can tell Willow is a good person despite the anger he's carried against her for months now due to cursing him. Some in this city have written him off for far less than what he's done to her but it seems she is willing to give him one last chance. And he is painfully aware that it is his last chance.]
I am sure many will not believe that I want to. I've said I will too many times in the past before. But sometimes you must reach a breaking point in your life where you can either continue down the path that has been set for you or turn onto a new one and that can only occur through reaching a low point. It's not easy, especially given where my life has gone before but I know I must either start to pilot my own ship right or end up flying into a supernova.
["Sink or swim" is essentially the metaphor he's going for here.]
[From what she's seen, Maul has his own take on playing mind games with the people he's targeting. He doesn't really need to use his powers for that, he's manipulative enough all on his own.
She raises her eyebrows silently as he tells the tale about how he was suspicious at first until they managed to convince him their motivations were pure. That's a terrifying thought - he has followers that he could very well choose to send after any of them at any time should the desire to do so strike. She doubts he will - he does have a tendency to want to do his own dirty work in that regard, at least, but the possibility of him having people throughout Trench who are loyal to him is still a concern. Besides, it does seem like at the moment, he does genuinely want to change.
It's probably fine.]
You're probably not wrong about people not believing you at this point, honestly. You're going to have a long, hard road ahead of you, trying to convince them too. But that doesn't mean it's not worth doing, and I think we had that talk before. You seem... I dunno... particularly sincere this time, I guess, and like you already said, there's not much you can't get done when you're determined to do it.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-03-01 07:27 am (UTC)[He doesn't like to mention that period of time when he'd gone completely insane to anyone and few know about it. Not even many of his close friends are aware of what had happened during all those years of madness on Lotho Minor. But he has to explain to Willow in this case in order to make his point clear.]
My mother had the ability to heal the mind of madness. She simply reached inside and pulled out it out in a literal fashion, as though it was nothing more than a physical object that needed to be removed. It restored my mind. Several months ago, I discovered I have a similar ability here. It doesn't heal the mind of madness but instead I can remove corruption in the same way, just by reaching into a person's head and pulling it out.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 09:52 am (UTC)[Trusting Maul to pull something out of her mind, or the mind of someone else she cares about is nowhere near a step she is even remotely prepared to make, though. Even if she was desperate.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 10:00 am (UTC)[But he knows he's not going to get any better at it if he doesn't get some practice on other people.]
Besides, I'm sure there has to be another Sleeper who has similar magic.
[Though the longer he thinks about it, Maul realizes he hasn't heard of anyone else able to do this, not from any other Sleeper mentioning it or even through just the usual lines of gossip.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 10:27 am (UTC)[She lets that sink in. Actually, if someone has had the same power in the past, the Archives might be key in teaching him how to use it.]
If you're serious about wanting to start helping others, I'd say that's a pretty good way to start.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 11:09 am (UTC)[He does hope those aren't famous last words.]
At least this will give me something to do for the next few weeks while I keep my head down. I am rather fond of reading.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 11:22 am (UTC)[There might be other powers he has that could be used as an attack, but she is not going to encourage him to look into that at all.]
I like reading too. I'll let you know if I come across anything that might help.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 11:31 am (UTC)[He couldn't have known Varian would be so corrupted as to descend into beasthood but Maul feels like he could have done something more. Maybe if he gets more experience with this he will be able to eventually.]
Very well. I will ask my followers as well. They might know something.
[Oh yes, that's right, Maul has a cult. Fun times!
He pauses and an awkward silence descends before.]
I have incurred a debt by what I did. I don't know how I shall ever pay it back but....if you have need of my assistance, simply ask. I am not good for much besides death and destruction, but sometimes such a person is needed even if most do not want them around.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 07:21 pm (UTC)[Especially since Maul's instincts so rarely ever seem to tell him to stop. Or maybe they do, and he just doesn't listen out of... what? Stubbornness? Probably stubbornness.
The news of his cult is also unwelcome.]
Followers? You have followers? How long has this been a thing for?
[Does she even want to know? She suspects probably not, but then again, if it's been going on for awhile, at least he hasn't sent them after any of them as far as she's aware.
At his last thought, she pauses. She doesn't really want him owing her anything, but she'll keep the offer for help in the back of her head. There are no doubt still people in Trench who will stand with him - there always have been, what's one more incident? Surely they all knew this was coming, and she doubts all of his support will cut themselves off from him. It's not like any of them have any loyalty to her, and she's well aware many of them probably don't agree with the choice to curse him as a means of stopping his destructive behaviour.
She has to remind herself it is not her responsibility to offer comfort to her killer.]
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. I know you're looking to change, and it's up to you to decide what it is you're good for now, if you really mean to follow through on it.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-03 09:08 am (UTC)[Given Maul's experience with his master, he knew the horror that could come with changing someone's mind forcibly, whether through psychic actions or just plain old brainwashing. His mental powers through the Force weren't something he used in a cavalier fashion.
He does grin at the mention of his cult. He's very proud of those that have chosen to follow him.]
Since I arrived. I was first suspicious of them given the way the Deerington townsfolk acted the first month I came to the town, first being kind and sweet before they drugged me, sewed me to a deer, and tried to burn me alive. I thought the natives here would be the same but after months of their persistence, I saw their desire to have me as their leader and guide them was sincere.
[Disconcerting as the thought of Maul having followers was, he certainly has been taking his duties as their leader seriously. He's not going to use them frivolously or for personal vendettas. The power he gained here is something that he's been seeking for some time and he's not going to throw it away in just a few months.
Maul can tell Willow is a good person despite the anger he's carried against her for months now due to cursing him. Some in this city have written him off for far less than what he's done to her but it seems she is willing to give him one last chance. And he is painfully aware that it is his last chance.]
I am sure many will not believe that I want to. I've said I will too many times in the past before. But sometimes you must reach a breaking point in your life where you can either continue down the path that has been set for you or turn onto a new one and that can only occur through reaching a low point. It's not easy, especially given where my life has gone before but I know I must either start to pilot my own ship right or end up flying into a supernova.
["Sink or swim" is essentially the metaphor he's going for here.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-04 05:35 am (UTC)[From what she's seen, Maul has his own take on playing mind games with the people he's targeting. He doesn't really need to use his powers for that, he's manipulative enough all on his own.
She raises her eyebrows silently as he tells the tale about how he was suspicious at first until they managed to convince him their motivations were pure. That's a terrifying thought - he has followers that he could very well choose to send after any of them at any time should the desire to do so strike. She doubts he will - he does have a tendency to want to do his own dirty work in that regard, at least, but the possibility of him having people throughout Trench who are loyal to him is still a concern. Besides, it does seem like at the moment, he does genuinely want to change.
It's probably fine.]
You're probably not wrong about people not believing you at this point, honestly. You're going to have a long, hard road ahead of you, trying to convince them too. But that doesn't mean it's not worth doing, and I think we had that talk before. You seem... I dunno... particularly sincere this time, I guess, and like you already said, there's not much you can't get done when you're determined to do it.
[Including murder, apparently.]
I just hope it sticks this time.